Husbands and Supermarket Shopping !

I don't know about you other ladies out there, but is it just me or do men/husbands become walking activity centers when they go food shopping especially in supermarkets ?

I have been noticing for a while now how 'him indoors' can't walk past the chickens in ASDA anymore without making clucking sounds followed by 'chic chic chic chic chicken' in a weirdo voice.
The other thing I have noticed is that when he bends down to pick items off the bottom shelf to put in the trolley, he does sound effects like a 5 year old pretending to be a robot !
Honestly! he wonders why I am walking ten paces behind when he's whooping up the isles .

Oh and the other thing he does, is he bloody well moans and he know best. Back a few months ago in the cold weather, he wanted beef stew for dinner. Now I don't know about anyone else, but I love leeks in stews. Well we were at the fruit and veg isle and I mentioned getting a leak as he was picking out his mushrooms for his early morning fry-ups. 'Huh' he grumbles , you've got onions in the fridge, they are just the same .

Now how does a bloody onion resemble a leak ?  Anyway , I wonder over to the spuds , when I saw him grab another woman's arm (she was over by the leaks) so I hovered a little and he was just in mid flow- 'I said we have got onions in the fridge, they are the same as leaks', with that the woman turned round, and said 'are they dear, that's nice'. Well he went a funny shade of scarlet , in fact if he was by the beet-root, someone may have purchased him.

He farts out loud as well - probably all the excitement of shopping - however he does it when he is bent over the freezers reaching in for his ASDA curry and garlic bread ! He then quickly moves while I am still stood there , so I get the blame.

I think men should be barred from shopping in supermarkets and leave it to us women.
Oh the other thing he does, is he shops for himself  - he puts everything in the trolley that he likes, bugger the rest of us, then has the bloody cheek to ask me to hide his sausages and black-pudding so the others (the kids - well grown up kids who still live at home) don't eat it !

Shopping with him is a real experience I can tell you !
When there are big queues for the checkouts - he thinks he is the only one in a bloody queue !
Then he starts ! 'Huh look at the bloody queues - well if this keeps up I'm shopping at Tesco's'
No bugger gives a shit if he wants to shop at Tescos ! He obviously thinks they do as he says it louder and louder until someone in the next queue shout out 'good idea mate', 'I'd go there now if I were you'.

...... And why is it , men have to grab the bloody back end of a shopping trolley as you are on the front end, to pull it round the friggin corner quicker - I am riled enough with the sound effects, then he messes with my trolley - I tell you I get so enraged at the end that I accidently on purpose , run the bastid over ! Well ram it into the back of his shins - its stopped him from trying to wang it round corners now !

So ........ any ladies out there or men even  , who have similar experiences when they go shopping with him indoors or her indoors ?
I would love to know ! (Im indoors is in his late 40's by the way ! ) Is it an age thing ?

Anyway I have waffled long enough and have taken to growing my own leaks

That Woman !